Terminal Cancer

On Tuesday, March 3rd I was scheduled to have surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from my colon and additional surgery to resection a different part of my colon. Initially, it was believed that if the tumor was removed, the cancer would be cured and I could get back to eating nachos.

Unfortunately, once I was opened up, it was clear that there was more than one tumor. In facts, there were little tumors all through my abdomen, in the peritoneum, around my small intestine, in the surrounding fat layer, and in the nearly 7 liters of fluid that was drained from my belly.

This means the cancer is an aggressive, Stage-4 and is inoperable and that makes this cancer terminal.

At the moment, I cannot eat or drink. I am able to enjoy some ice chips but the liquid must be pumped out of my stomach routinely. It’s not super comfortable but believe me when I say, the ice chips are complete bliss and my most precious possession right now.

On Thursday, March 5th, I will have a chemotherapy port added to my chest. It is hoped that an early round of chemotherapy will reduce the inflammation in my colon enough for liquids to pass through. This would allow me to subsist on a liquid diet, which would be glorious by comparison to not being able to eat or drink at all. Deciding to do some chemotherapy is more to do with quality of life. I am in no pain right now, but I would REALLY like some apple juice. And if I can get to a place where I can have apple juice, it’s worth the struggle.

There is no chance for a cure but it’s possible the chemotherapy will give me additional months instead of the few weeks I have now.

The horizon goes on without you

The horizon goes on without you

It’s official. I have cancer.

(Post update to note new surgical time & date)

After weeks of tests and such, my colonoscopy confirmed it. I got photos and everything. I’m going to have surgery on Tuesday, March 3rd at 9:30 am SLT. Depending on the stage of the cancer, which won’t be known until after the surgery, this might be a total cure. Unfortunately, there’s another part of my colon that must be removed and resected. So about 66 to 75% of my colon is getting tossed. My doctors are all very confident but there’s no denying the risks.

But those of you who know me, know my health is already sketchy at best. So this surgery is a huge risk. But technically speaking, I’m already dying. And that’s a feeling I’ve been used to for a long time anyway.

At least I got to see the Avengers story line wrap up. And if I manage not to survive the surgery (or the cancer), hopefully that means I won’t be subjected to the next Star Wars trilogy.

There’s so many people I want to say thank you to but I’d be afraid of leaving someone out. The people I love know who they are.

I don’t wanna be all grim-dark but, ya know, I have cancer.

I want to thank everyone who followed this blog or viewed it or took advice from it or contributed in some way. I want to thank all the designers who made so many wonderful things. I want to thank everyone at Harshlands for encouraging me to stretch myself creatively.

I want to thank everyone at the End of Time for making it such a wonderful place to be and making me feel so welcome in my SL home.

Special thanks for my SL Mom, Vanilla Beans.

Special thanks for my busy bestie Adriana (purple pixie friend).

And extra special thanks and forever hugs to my SL girlfriend, companion, and partner, Akiko.

Hopefully, this is not the end. But if it is, know that you all made the last couple years of my life complete bliss.

I love you all.

Health Update

Hey everyone,

Yes! I’m alive still. And yes, I’m still sick. I’ve been on a liquid diet for days and it’s absolutely exhausting. But I am beginning to feel a lot better.

I’ve not been this sick since my pulmonary embolism when I was 15. But even then, I managed to enjoy my online life during my recovery. There’s just something about tummy troubles that cut me to the core and I just do not have the energy.

This is the first day that I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. My treatments are going well and allegedly I’ll be fully recovered in another week or so. The cancer scare that I didn’t mention earlier has evidently been put to rest.

But my RL job is my priority so that’s where all my creative energy is focused. As soon as I have any to spare, I’ll pick things back up.

See you all soon.


No Mix & Match this week

Hey everyone!

Seems like RL won’t let me be. As you know, I took about four weeks off from SL and blogging to focus on my mental wellness. But now it seems like my focus must shift again, this time to my physical wellness.

I do not wish to go into details but I was recently blindsided by some lower gastrointestinal issues that persisted for weeks. After finally getting a scan, I got some partially good news but also some very troubling news. I won’t start treatments until sometime this week. In the meantime, I’m having waves of pain and discomfort that make it hard for me to focus on work in SL.

So for a while, hopefully only a couple of weeks, I’ll only be updating the Harshlands side of the blog.

With some luck and positive thoughts, things might get back to normal.

Thanks for your patience and understanding.




Ever wondered who is using a 24-hour laundromat in the middle of the night? Well, now you know. Demon girls gotta do the wash now and then too. And with these Nemesis Wings from Harshlands, you can join them!

These wings are an exclusive set available at Gacha Garden all through the month of February. These are animated (animesh) wings. They have resting and flight animation and can be resized. But they come in two sizes, regular and extra large for you OG avatars out there.

In the photo, I’m wearing the RARE color HUD set of Nemesis Wings. Hey! Blogging has it’s privileges you know!

There are 27 wings to collect and you are guaranteed an EXCLUSIVE bone wing set with every 20 pulls. Outstanding!

So if you catch yourself wanting to do laundry in the middle of the night at a 24-hour laundromat, you have until the end of February to get these wings and blend in with all the cute demonic girls washing their dirty demon girl outfits.

Catch them all at Gacha Garden

More information on the Official Harshlands Blog

Harshlands on the MP

Harshlands In-World