The horizon goes on without you

The horizon goes on without you

It’s official. I have cancer.

(Post update to note new surgical time & date)

After weeks of tests and such, my colonoscopy confirmed it. I got photos and everything. I’m going to have surgery on Tuesday, March 3rd at 9:30 am SLT. Depending on the stage of the cancer, which won’t be known until after the surgery, this might be a total cure. Unfortunately, there’s another part of my colon that must be removed and resected. So about 66 to 75% of my colon is getting tossed. My doctors are all very confident but there’s no denying the risks.

But those of you who know me, know my health is already sketchy at best. So this surgery is a huge risk. But technically speaking, I’m already dying. And that’s a feeling I’ve been used to for a long time anyway.

At least I got to see the Avengers story line wrap up. And if I manage not to survive the surgery (or the cancer), hopefully that means I won’t be subjected to the next Star Wars trilogy.

There’s so many people I want to say thank you to but I’d be afraid of leaving someone out. The people I love know who they are.

I don’t wanna be all grim-dark but, ya know, I have cancer.

I want to thank everyone who followed this blog or viewed it or took advice from it or contributed in some way. I want to thank all the designers who made so many wonderful things. I want to thank everyone at Harshlands for encouraging me to stretch myself creatively.

I want to thank everyone at the End of Time for making it such a wonderful place to be and making me feel so welcome in my SL home.

Special thanks for my SL Mom, Vanilla Beans.

Special thanks for my busy bestie Adriana (purple pixie friend).

And extra special thanks and forever hugs to my SL girlfriend, companion, and partner, Akiko.

Hopefully, this is not the end. But if it is, know that you all made the last couple years of my life complete bliss.

I love you all.

15 thoughts on “The horizon goes on without you

  1. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥


  2. (I think my post got lost when I was asked to log in… so I’m reposting bc I don’t see what I wrote but I saved the text) You are in my thoughts and prayers, Chisato — and I just prayed to my God and my Lord for you, on your behalf, and the success of your surgery. Specifically, because sometimes it’s encouraging to share what we prayed for, I prayed that your surgery would go exceedingly well, that you would be cancer free, and that your spirits would be high going into it. You can take solace knowing you have very many friends who are offering such good thoughts on your behalf… and your faith, that you mentioned above… there is nothing more sobering than what you’re facing to shine light on the importance of certain realities in life… hold on to those… the physical is not what it seems… there is great joy, peace and love in the heavenlies. And may the great God who brought back from the dead the Lord Jesus, grant you peace and spiritual comfort through His Holy Spirit. He is able to do exceedingly above anything we can even ask or think, according to the power at work within us. Love, your friend, Bailey Boo


  3. Walks in an closes the door………..huh oh…..dang……i dont think i should of done that one….well since i am gonna be stuck here for bits…..Starts fiddling about……….um um you gonna get better any time soon… I think your the key to this whole thing. Dang, guess i gonna sit an wait for you over there in the corner….. i know i aint gonna be the only one gonna be stuck here waiting for you….nope nope take your time… looks around…dang i gotta go pee.


  4. Hang in there, ChiiBean. It’s not a fun diagnosis at all, and I hate that the universe is jerking you around like this, but you are strong and we all need you to emerge on the other side of this healed up and ready to kick the universe’s butt in retaliation. Love you bunches. If you ever need to talk, please lemme know. ♥



  5. It’s when you’re near, my heart feels blessed
    Just standing beside you and nothing’s said
    In that quiet, I know you’re there.
    To see, to feel, to know me.
    Hands that clasp, across the void and blissfully we are joined.
    Moments brief, yet intensely strong.
    Its in your voice I hear your song.
    This day, a promise. A gift as new,
    is now shared between us two.
    To believe in you, my friend and love,
     joyful as the stars above.
    I love your spirit, the fire within, your quirky self to me you share
    With love and gratefulness and humility, you will find me there.


  6. Let me say it with the German singer Udo Lindenberg: There will be something behind the horizont.

    Beyond the Horizon

    We were like two detectives with our hats pulled low.
    All the roads were endless;
    No barricades to block our way.
    You and I were simply invincible,
    Together like thunder and lightning
    And always on the hot, ever-burning fast-track

    We were true friends
    For eternity
    Without a doubt.
    We couldn’t see the clouds on the horizon until it was dark
    And then it happened — I couldn’t comprehend; everything happened much too fast.
    Two people like us should never lose
    Should never have been parted.

    Beyond the horizon together again
    A new day will dawn
    Beyond the horizon on and on
    Together we are strong

    What we had dwells deep within
    Something which can never end
    Something so great can’t simply vanish

    da, da, da . . .
    You and I were simply invincible
    Together like thunder and lightning
    And always on the hot, ever-burning fast-track

    Beyond the horizon reunited
    A new day will dawn
    Beyond the horizon on and on
    Together we are strong

    What we had dwells deep within
    Something which can never end
    Because two like us can never lose
    Can never truly be parted

    da, da, da . . .

    We will terribly miss you.

    Hugs, Jenni


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